Nicole & Kate Can Relate

[00:00:00] Kate: Hey friends, it's Nicole and Kate, your girls from across the globe, Sydney, Australia, and Puerto Rico to be exact. And we're so excited to be sharing this time with you.

[00:00:11] Nicole: Get ready for a candid convo with us, Nicole and Kate throughout this podcast, we'll be sharing our own experiences and thoughts in the hopes that you realize that one you are not alone.

[00:00:21] Nicole: And two that open and honest convos can lead to awesome discoveries shifts in perspectives and energy to move ahead with confidence.

[00:00:29] Kate: Cause that's what real friends do they provide love, support, and space for one another to share without judgment, speak, without hesitation, and to learn from each other, even when we don't agree.

[00:00:41] Kate: And with that, let's dive in. Nicole, I'm excited for today's episode on relationships. Oh my goodness. I know that both of us hold relationships at such a high value. It's such an important part of both of our lives, our relationships with our families with our friends, but those relationships aren't always easy.

[00:01:09] Kate: And both of us have a good amount of experience with moving around. Um, and you know, sometimes for one reason or another relationships kind of fizzle out or one person goes in one direction and you go in another. Um, so I'm excited to dive in and talk about this today because I think that it's not always a super comfortable topic to talk about you don't, you know, don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or, um, yeah.

[00:01:37] Kate: And again, relationships kind of might become stronger or not stronger, uh, based on a number of, of different life events and things happening. So I'm excited to kind of dive into that and just maybe start with sharing, like a bit about your experience in this area. Again, I know both of us have moved a lot and, and that certainly takes a toll on, um, keeping relationships going strong.

[00:02:05] Kate: So why don't you, uh, share a little bit about that?

[00:02:08] Nicole: Yeah, it is, it can be a bit of a touchy subject, right? Depending on where you are in life or where you are in certain with certain relationships, it can be a bit sensitive at certain times. I always envied people who hadn't moved around. It's kind of funny.

[00:02:24] Nicole: When you tell people, oh, I've moved around. I've lived in all these different cities and countries like, oh, wow, that's so cool. But from a friendship perspective, that can be a challenge. And I remember early on feeling this kind of envy for people who hadn't moved around because they were so connected to a friendship, a friendship group that they'd had since primary school, elementary school, high school.

[00:02:49] Nicole: And, but when you move around you a like make new friends. And be like, you do lose touch with, with a lot of people. So I kind of found myself when I've, you know, I'd been away from Australia for 12 years. I distinctly remember coming back and feeling like, oh, where all my friends?

[00:03:14] Nicole: And then I remembered making a mental note. Oh, well, one of my closest friends from uni she's now in Belfast, one of my other friends is. Was in Brazil at the time. And now is now has since come back to Australia and I just kind of made it a tracking of like where all my friends were around the world.

[00:03:33] Nicole: Like, no, no, no. I have friends. I have friends. It just, they're just not all right here. And now like case in point with you, you know, we, we were friends in San Diego, we spent a lot of time, and now here we are separated, you know, by great ocean between us. And, but we've been able to stay in touch. So lots to say on the topic, this is why I was really excited to talk about this topic.

[00:03:56] Kate: Yeah. Well, you know, I was just thinking the other day, because... well, so I'm planning my wedding right now, our wedding, John and I's wedding. Um, I catch myself saying I a lot when I talk about the wedding and yeah. I don't mean it in that way. Disclaimer. Um, but one thing that came up is choosing bridesmaids and I kind of got into this.

[00:04:26] Kate: I think I got into my head a little bit of. Okay. Am I supposed to choose like childhood friends? Am I supposed to choose people who I'm close with right now? Because I am so very close with some childhood friends, but I've also created friendships within the last few years. That, and the reason that I really got to thinking about it is because I feel like there's some times in life where you meet people with this has been the case for me.

[00:04:49] Kate: And I almost feel like we know each other from past lives or something. Do you ever connect with somebody that way where you're just. I feel like I've only known you for a year, but I feel like I've known you for a hundred.

[00:05:02] Nicole: I feel like we refer to that as fast friends. You make friends. And how does that happen?

[00:05:09] Nicole: Like that's true. You meet people and it's all of a sudden you click and you, do you feel like the conversation, the conversation is very easy. And I don't know if this happens to you, but I find myself talking about things and revealing, you know, certain things opening up in a way that you wouldn't normally in those first kind of encounters, but you also find that the other person is reciprocating.

[00:05:32] Nicole: And so it makes you want to open up even more. So yeah, in those situations like, oh, this is definitely like a friendship that this, this is going to be great, friends forever!

[00:05:44] Kate: Yes. It's like kindred spirits. I, I just like have like this overwhelming sense of this person, so amazing. And I'm so happy to have them in my life and, and all of these things, so, okay.

[00:05:56] Kate: Sorry. I was going somewhere with that.

[00:06:01] Kate: Um, I, I feel like those are the types of friends where you could be separated for like an entire year and live in completely different places. But when you touch base again, it's like no time has passed that all.

[00:06:13] Nicole: That's one of my favourites. I feel like that's a very special friendship and I can think about people in my life where it's true.

[00:06:21] Nicole: You've been separated for a very long time. And when you reconnect, it's like you pick up from where you left off. And that, that is just such a cool thing. And you realize, oh, okay, this there's a special connection here because you can be, you know, not have spoken to that person for five... in my case, like I hadn't spoken to some people that I'm thinking about in my life for almost a decade five, 10 years. And then when we reconnected, it was literally like no time had passed. And I was like, this is amazing. Yeah, it's very special.

[00:06:57] Kate: But then there's people that I've created very close friendships with, whether it be through work or through college.

[00:07:06] Kate: And in those moments in my life, like I was insanely close with these people. But once that chapter, if you will had passed or closed. It was kind of, there was no like bad feelings or some huge disruption where we decided that we weren't going to be friends anymore, but I went one way and they went another way and we just kind of lost touch.

[00:07:35] Kate: So it's so. Interesting to me, how you could have like these two opposites, you know, it's one thing if like a friendship ends, because both people have decided that they don't want to be friends anymore, or one person has decided that which can happen too. I shouldn't laugh. Um, but

[00:07:55] Nicole: no, but it's

[00:07:55] Kate: quite a...

[00:07:56] Kate: Yes. Should I be saying this? Um, but yeah, then it's, uh, then it's quite another when it just is because you've gone on separate paths. And I wonder why that is why the difference.

[00:08:16] Nicole: Well, that's happened to me very clearly. Um, I feel, um, in situations where I was friends with people because of say a work situation.

[00:08:27] Nicole: So very clearly when I was in the world of teaching and I was a teacher, all my friends were teachers. And surprise, surprise. Right. Um, and so I, I think in those situations, and I was very close to a lot of people in that space because we're sharing so many, uh, common experiences we're in either in the same workplace, uh, we're bonded, you know, over that connection.

[00:08:51] Nicole: And so I think it's very easy to have a circle of friends that maybe are also your colleagues. Um, but, and so where am I, where am I going with that? So when I was in teaching, I had a very close group of teacher friends. I also think, okay. The other thing that made me a thought of is when you live in another country and you're part of say an ex-pat community.

[00:09:14] Nicole: Um, so when I was living in Japan, um, you know, yes, I actually ended up having a lot of Japanese friends, which was really awesome. But I also had a lot of friends who were ex-pats, who had come from wherever, all around the world. And I think in those situations, you also make friends with people that you normally wouldn't be friends with unless you're in that situation.

[00:09:37] Nicole: And it's because you're in that situation, that your friends and then with those friends, it's really easy to lose touch with. So I found that in the end, I. Probably lost touch with people that I was only connected to because of the circumstance we found ourselves in versus the real friends that I had made.

[00:09:55] Nicole: Um, and I distinctly remember a Japanese couple that we were really, really close to who ended up coming to visit me in Australia when I came back. And I thought those friendships were maybe a bit deeper. And were't because of the situation that we found ourselves in. Does that make sense?

[00:10:11] Kate: Yeah, definitely.

[00:10:12] Kate: But I, but so you talking about like the community and I feel that way about Puerto Rico in so many ways, because suddenly you have a bunch of people who are from the States, the mainland come to an island and get dropped into, uh, environment and, and culture really that's quite different from back home.

[00:10:36] Kate: And so you come together on the common ground that everyone's kind of like. What next? You know, navigating kind of like figuring out a new environment, a new day to day and new atmosphere, new culture and all of these things. So yeah, that definitely makes sense. Um, and I feel like those when you share. Those common life experiences that that can bring you together.

[00:11:05] Kate: That, that creates, uh, almost like those fast relationships that we were talking about. I mean, I know I've met several people in Puerto Rico where we have so many similarities, which makes sense because we're here for similar reasons and that really connects us. You know, quite tightly and in a short amount of time.

[00:11:24] Kate: So yeah, I definitely see that.

[00:11:26] Nicole: Yeah. And awesome about that is, I don't know if you feel this way, the older you get, it's actually harder to make friends. Like, do you ever remember, like when you're a child, like you turn around to someone else in another kid in your class or wherever on the playground and you're like, will you be my best friend?

[00:11:42] Nicole: Will you be my friend? And it's like, yeah, sure. We'll be friends. Like you see kids making friendships like that. Fast friends right. And I don't think that happens or it's much harder the older you get or when you're in a different stage of life. But I think to your point about moving into a new community and being connected to other people who are in a similar situation allows you to then make those connections and make those friendships later on in life.

[00:12:12] Nicole: Cause I do think it's harder later on. I mean, I don't know. That's a good question. Do you, do you think it's easy? It's hard to make friends the older you get?

[00:12:21] Kate: Yes. I do well. So I think it's so situational too, because coming to Puerto Rico, I feel like I made friends quite quickly and quite easily because of all the community activities and like everything that was going on.

[00:12:37] Kate: But when I left San Diego and moved to Maine, I had a really hard time making friends. And I remember so distinctly thinking. I was about 30 at the time. I was 28, 29 when I moved there. And I remember thinking. Like, where do I make friends? I'm I just left my job to start my own business. So I'm not going to meet anyone through my job, quote unquote, because I'm not like going into an office.

[00:13:10] Kate: Right. Obviously like mixers and entrepreneurial events and everything would be a great place to do it. Um, but I wasn't there yet. And, um, I'm moving to live with my boyfriend, so I know him, but. Mm. Literally had never even been to the state of Maine before, and I'm not going to school, so I'm not going to meet anyone in class or anything like that.

[00:13:34] Kate: So up to that point, every single place that I had made friends previously in my life was a result of either being in school or being at a job. We're being introduced through another friend and all of a sudden I'm in a place and I don't have any friends and I'm not going to school and I don't have a job.

[00:13:50] Kate: Well, it was really hard for me. And I, I did, I struggled with that because I would go out with girls and I, and I would feel like I was on a date. Almost was like, there was this pressure to like, be a cool person so that I, so that we could become friends. It was, it was something I had never experienced before.

[00:14:13] Kate: Um, yeah. So, I mean, so you moved back to Sydney. What about when you moved to New York? Cause you didn't know anyone in New York, did you?

[00:14:25] Nicole: No, I didn't know anyone there. That's true.

[00:14:30] Kate: You and Omar moved together right?

[00:14:32] Nicole: We did. Yeah. Um, and so initially when I, well, I went first to do my film course and I was on my own for that.

[00:14:39] Nicole: And I made most of the friends that I was kind of connecting with there. were..

[00:14:44] Nicole: See through school, right?

[00:14:45] Nicole: Yeah. I'm just worried. I'm going to get in trouble because sometimes my memory doesn't serve me well, I could leave off a very important person. I'm like really it's really early here, I might be still half asleep and my memory might not serve me well, but yeah, no New York it's so funny because New York, out of all the places I've lived in, I feel like was the city where I made the least. strong, long-term connections. And again, I apologize if there's someone out there that is a really good friend. It's funny because I do think the environment dictates, you know, the kind of the activities you do. And I feel like, and it's that stage in life when Omar and I moved there together then, and we were because we were new as a relationship as well.

[00:15:36] Nicole: We're pretty much we're like into each other and into developing this new life of, okay, we've left teaching. We're now going down the entrepreneurship route and we'll let's build our businesses. I was freelancing, so it was very, very hustle driven. And so kind of, not a lot of time for friends.

[00:15:53] Nicole: I think if we're going to talk about making friends later on in life and establishing new connections, it's harder also because you have less time. Like if you're a kid and it's like, I've got all the time in the world, let's be friends. We're going to spend hours together. I think it's harder. The older you get, because you need to actually develop a close relationship.

[00:16:12] Nicole: You need to create those memories. You need to do all those activities, that form those memories and bring you closer. And that takes time. And if you've got a job, if you've got a new. Whatever you got going on. It's obviously a lot harder. Um, so I can't remember where, and this is one of those conversations that we're going to go on a million tangents.

[00:16:32] Nicole: Yeah. Yeah,

[00:16:35] Kate: That's , that's so true though that, uh, I never really thought of it in that way, but sure. As you get older, you have so many other responsibilities where it's not like, okay, it's 2:00 PM. I'm going to go play in the street for three hours. Like, no, you gotta like do dinner and you probably have laundry to do.

[00:16:52] Kate: And like, you need gas in the car and you gotta go to the grocery store and all these other things. Right? Do you think it has anything to do with the perspective or maybe increased amount of value that you've put on relationships as you get older? Do you think that that has like when you're little right to your point, you turn around and you're on a playground and however many kids are on the playground are however many friends you have, like, you'd be friends with all of those kids, but as an adult, uh, for me, it was, it kind of became.

[00:17:26] Kate: I started having a different perspective of relationships and what it took to nurture a relationship and to grow a relationship and to truly support someone else in a way that we would become like lifelong friends. And I just wonder if that comes with age, if that, like, how do you feel like you've placed different value on relationships?

[00:17:48] Kate: Like maybe 10 years ago, 20 years ago versus now?

[00:17:52] Nicole: I definitely think as an entrepreneur, I feel like I know we're going to talk about the average of the five people that you're surrounded by. We, we, and we've said this before, like relationships are everything, you know, and having those. And it's not because it's something you have to gain from someone it's not that kind of, you know, what's in it for me type of a thing, but really you realize.

[00:18:17] Nicole: Relationships are everything because the people that you surround yourself by, they can lift you up. You can, um, improve their life. And, uh, you know, ah, there was this, this just made me think about this incredible, uh, study that I heard about recently. Do you know John Levy? He's an author, behavioral scientist...

[00:18:40] Kate: Certainly heard the name.

[00:18:42] Nicole: Yes, he has this short Ted talk on. Um, I think it's How To Be Influential. Something like that. He quotes this study that was done in, um, in the US uh, by these two guys called Christakis and Fowler, and they were studying the obesity epidemic. And this is crazy. They found that if you were, if your friend was obese, you had a 45% increased chance of being obese yourself and your friend, um, who didn't know this other friend had a 20% increased chance of being obese and their friends had a 5% chance of being obese, increased chance of being obese.

[00:19:32] Kate: All because you're connected.

[00:19:34] Nicole: Yes. Yeah. Wow. So this kind of idea of three degrees of separation, it's all three degrees of influence. Um, Is is yeah. Is backed up by science. So like the most important thing that we could do is basically be surrounded by the people that we, whose characteristics we admire, the people that.

[00:19:55] Nicole: Really yeah. Want to aspire to be, or who have traits and have maybe done things, been places that we, you know, ourselves aspire to be. So it's almost like, and, but this study is, is, is great to show that it's, as I said, it's not just about what's in it for you, the fact that you can elevate yourself and then thereby passing on that awesomeness to somebody else and then to another person as well.

[00:20:24] Nicole: Just shows you how powerful having really positive and intentional relationships can be. So I think the more you learn about that kind of stuff that I definitely wasn't aware of when I was a teenager in my early twenties being aware of that now. To finally answer your question. Do I value because I've found that study so fascinating.

[00:20:47] Nicole: I definitely place a lot of value on, on relationships and, and it's, it's not just, what can I get out of it? It's what can I do to help? Other people and to bring happiness and cause what this study found too, it wasn't just about obesity. It extended to happiness, marriage, divorce rates, smoking habits, all these other things that you can actually influence other people just by your own actions.

[00:21:13] Nicole: Isn't that wild? Like the, I thought that was crazy.

[00:21:16] Kate: Totally fascinating. And I, and I think that every single one of us can relate to that in a sense that on both sides of the spectrum. Right? Very, unfortunately we've all been in scenarios or circumstances where, whether it was influenced peer pressure, you name it.

[00:21:34] Kate: We ended up doing something that maybe we wouldn't have done had we been by ourselves or with some of our like more positive friends and, and vice versa. We've also been in scenarios where we hear about somebody maybe contributing to a nonprofit or an organization, and we've been inspired then to do the same, like, oh, that sounds wonderful.

[00:21:56] Kate: I'd love to do something like that too. Or somebody who's, you know, just started a new workout class and you think, man, you go girl, I'm starting a new workout class too. And so, yeah, I feel like all of us can, can definitely relate to so many of those scenarios. Like you speak about, you know, that being the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

[00:22:20] Kate: And I know that for us, that's a very common thread and saying, and something that comes up almost every day as entrepreneurs. I think it extends to anyone. I don't think it matters if you're an entrepreneur or not. I think that just being a valuable person in this world and living up to your values and who you're capable of being, I think that this spreads true no matter you're an entrepreneur or not.

[00:22:46] Kate: Um, and so I think that it's an important point to make is that, you know, if you're unhappy with. Anything in your life, then it might be helpful to take a look at the five people you spend the most time with then. And sometimes. So when I first became an entrepreneur and started really studying into that and hearing people say that over and over again, I kind of thought like, oh man, well, Um, the five people that I spend the most time with, like, I think maybe one of them was an entrepreneur.

[00:23:19] Kate: And so I thought like, oh, does this mean that, like, I can't be friends with these other four people. Like, what's the, what's the deal with this average of the five people thing. Um, and it kind of scared me a little bit, right. Because I truly loved these people and I had great relationships with them, but it was, it wasn't about cutting people out of your life. It was about recognizing how you can change your relationship with people in order to, again, as you said, have a positive influence on people and also make sure that you are being positively influenced as well. So, as an example, if you have, if you are an entrepreneur or maybe you're trying to become an entrepreneur, that's just one example.

[00:24:07] Kate: And, um, it extends to, I'll give, I'll give another example after this, that has nothing to do with entrepreneurship and five, the five people you spend the most time with. Let's say even just like one of them does not get it. Why are you leaving your job? It's a terrible idea. Entrepreneurship is for people who are greedy.

[00:24:27] Kate: Um, you're just trying to make money quick. I don't agree with this. You're so much better off in a day job. Like that person is very unsupportive of your desire to be an entrepreneur and to start this thing. And so. Whatever your relationship with that person might be maybe it's your brother, your sister, your mom, your dad.

[00:24:46] Kate: It might be somebody who you are not willing to cut out of your life. That's okay. But you need to change your relationship, but that person, and I'm saying, this is, this is what I learned in that scenario, because I'm like, wait a second. How am I cutting people out of my life? All of a sudden, I didn't know I had to do that.

[00:25:03] Kate: Um, but it was about changing my relationship with those people so that if somebody was completely unsupportive of my desire to become an entrepreneur and create my own lifestyle, freedom, I did not talk to that person about entrepreneurship anymore. Maybe they were my friend that I had a beach day with and we don't talk about business and we don't talk about jobs because I recognized that that conversation does not elevate either of us.

[00:25:28] Kate: And so once you are able to, Iook at it from a perspective of like, okay, I'm the average of the five people I spend the most time with, if I want to eat healthier maybe I need to recognize the friends who are always wanting to go out and eat the late night fried food and stuff. And maybe I don't hang out with them late at night to eat fried food anymore.

[00:25:49] Kate: Maybe we hang out like. I don't know in the morning when maybe we go work out together instead. Does that make sense? Am I like going way off on an unreasonable tangent?

[00:25:59] Nicole: And this reminds me why I love you so much and why you are Kate Erickson and one of the nicest people in the world, because there are so many people that would take that quote.

[00:26:08] Nicole: So literally so black and white, that's it. I'm cutting all these people out of my life because they're not an entrepreneur, they're not going to help me succeed. And you're like, all right, I'm just going to spend a little bit less time with you or I'm not going to see. I love that. I love that. That is

[00:26:28] Kate: well, I think, I think, I don't think that we often realize like how, um, some, some of our relationships might not be as healthy as we think they are, or as we'd like to think that they are.

[00:26:40] Kate: And when you get your values and your priorities straight. Um, that's something to take a look at. Look, I'm not encouraging anybody to drop friends. I'm just saying for me, it was very helpful and understanding what that actually meant. It does not mean cutting people out of your life. It means recognizing if there are areas that maybe you shift your relationship with people so that it focuses on things that elevate both of you versus unhealthy things that might influence you in a bad way.

[00:27:16] Nicole: Uh, well, I'm going to challenge you there because I mean, and this is why you're going to be so nice and maybe I'm not so nice. Well, okay. I mean, I've, I've read, I've heard that sometimes as sad as it is, and as hard as it is, you may have to cut people out who are not a positive influence or who you know, ideal for you. And I think that's, that's okay. I think that's something that we're a bit afraid to do because it could be like, this is, this is an old friend. This is my oldest friend. There's no way I could cut this person out of my life. We've got so much history. We go way back. And while all of that is, is well and good and can serve you...

[00:28:04] Nicole: There is room to also examine and say, we have limited time on this earth. If I don't feel good, if this is not a mutually great fit. Or if it's a one-sided situation or a one side relationship, then it might be okay to move on, you know, without too much drama or fuss, if it can be avoided. It's hard. I remember reading, I mean, remember we talked about one of my favorite books and it's all my favorite books, but The Boron Letters, the one that I took H.A.L.T out of to help with decision-making he talks about, and he's the only one who talks about this. Kevin Hart talks about this in his book, The Decision, which I love. It's all about who. As hard as it is, you might have to even cut people who are family. Like it's crazy. Like someone might think, oh my God, there's no way I could do that.

[00:29:04] Nicole: But if there is negativity, if there is a lot of, um, you know, as I said, we've got one very short life to live. And if you know, there is someone that's pulling you down, you may want to look at that person and go, maybe we're not a really good fit. I dunno is that harsh?

[00:29:24] Kate: You're so good. I'm so good. No, no, no. You are you hang up?

[00:29:34] Kate: No, I really. Don't hang up on me. Um, no, it is, this is actually a very beautiful perspective to look at it as you deserve a great friendship. That's two-way. I've been in several one-way friendships where I'm just like, I can't do it anymore. I'm exhausted. I can't call one more time. I can't beg one more time.

[00:29:59] Kate: Like I'm done. Um, so you're you're right. I, I do agree that there are certain instances where you've got to look at what you want and need in your life and, and recognize too, that. Sometimes we put so much energy into relationships where we get nothing back. And then what does that leave for ourselves and for the people who do care and love about us?

[00:30:24] Kate: Um, yeah. And that's not fair.

[00:30:28] Nicole: Exactly. I thought about it long and hard, you know, in those times where perhaps there has been a friendship that I've had to let go of and I've thought, oh, you know, it's also sometimes being the fact that you can't be that person that, that other person needs you to be, you know?

[00:30:47] Nicole: And so I know that sounds very much, like "it's not you, it's me" type of thing is the reason why we're breaking up, but in a way it's true. Like you said, like that person might need something that you just like, I'm done. I can't, I can't it's either draining. It's too much I've or you've put up with like too much at a certain point.

[00:31:10] Nicole: And I think we're just creatures of habit and there's a lot to be said for, um, you know, loyalty and all of these stuff that can maybe skew that view of like, what is this friendship really about? Is this about, are we really friends or are we just like, you know, this is out of habit, you know? Um, yeah.

[00:31:35] Kate: Yeah. I mean, when it comes to relationships, I think the bottom line is. Well, if, if relationships are of high value to you, which I, I can't imagine them not being, um, I do just think that the role that relationships has, has played on my journey and my relationships with my family, my relationships with my friends, um, and, and just the. the effort that you put into relationships and friendships and, uh, and you know, to your point just now, whether you keep relationships or decide to cut them based on that being a two way street versus a one-way street, um, I just can't, I really cannot speak highly enough of how critical, um, my relationships have been on my journey for getting support when I need it and being able to give support, um, love giving love and being able to get love back.

[00:32:38] Kate: Um, and all of that, you know, like this is kind of maybe, uh, a little bit like woo-woo mindsetty, but I'm such a huge believer that you get back what you put out. And I feel in relationships that, that couldn't be truer. Um, the time that you invest in the care and the love and the support that you give is what you'll get back.

[00:33:01] Kate: So if you feel that that is lacking, um, I know times of my life, when I've really checked myself and held myself accountable to looking at friendships and, and seeing. You know, is. Is what I'm putting out what I want to get back and really focusing on those relationships where I know that that is true.

[00:33:22] Kate: Um, yeah, I mean, I just, I just know for a fact that I wouldn't be where I am today without my relationships and the support, and, you know, surrounding myself with those people who are on the same path as me on the same page as me who can, who can love and support me the same way that I do them. What would you say has been kind of like the value or the, the critical ness of relationships and your journey, Nicole?

[00:33:51] Nicole: I mean, if I think about my relationship now that I have with Omar, for example, my husband, um, you know, that has been everything to where I am now. I feel. Making the shift that I did. What is it? Nine years ago? Um, you know, a career jump, a country jump, uh, leaving, you know, other relationships behind, you know, to, and having, you know, with him having found kind of another, another path in life that I'm so, um, grateful for, you know, building our businesses, um, having the connections and the friends that we have because of the work that we do.

[00:34:47] Nicole: I think that's been, I don't think I would be here without having someone who's, you know, a strong, supportive partner. Um, and that's not to say that you can't, you know, that you need to have a partner in your life, but I'm not, you know, there are many ways, you know, that you can accomplish your goals and, you know, feel fulfilled.

[00:35:08] Nicole: And, and, but I think it's really important to just look at who those people are. I know that, you know, I get a lot of support from my brother, from my mom, from my friends. Um, it just. You know, I'm energized through the people that are in my life. I know that I get my energy from the people that are in my life.

[00:35:32] Nicole: So I am hyper aware and hyper sensitive to who is in my life. Um, and, and that's not because I'm just looking out for myself cause I, I hear you totally. The best relationships have come from. When I've reached out when I've re like my, the friends that I've reconnected with, I feel like a lot of the times I, you know, initiated a reconnection, um, and I've, I'm been very conscious of intentionally, you know, keeping in touch of, you know, being interested in those people's lives because I know that they give me so much value.

[00:36:14] Nicole: Uh, I dunno if I'm just waffling here. It's such a big question. I dunno. Yeah.

[00:36:21] Kate: I think that, I think that you that you sum it up pretty perfect and saying that you can't imagine being where you are right now without the friendships and relationships that you have in your life. And I definitely feel the same as it's hard to imagine ever making it to where I am right now without just critical, um, relationships and people in my life.

[00:36:47] Kate: And I'm, I'm proud of that. And I, and I love that. I love that.

[00:36:53] Nicole: Yeah. And I think it is, you know, contrary to people saying that it is harder to make friendships later in life and making really, I feel like some of the best friendships relationships, connections I have have come from very recent years and it is, it's been intentional.

[00:37:11] Nicole: It's been reaching out to people. Being purposeful about and being genuinely interested in other people's lives, um, that I've been able to make, um, connections later in life to which, and so I guess, I think I want to challenge anyone that thinks like you ha you know, that you can't make deep bonds and deep friends and deep connections later in life.

[00:37:36] Nicole: I really think you can. I think there could be some of the most beautiful, uh, relationships did that carry you on to future years.

[00:37:44] Kate: Yeah, look at us.

[00:37:45] Kate: Look at us. That's true.

[00:37:48] Kate: And I'll say circling back to my earlier bridesmaids conversation, just to close us out today. I have three childhood friends and three friends that I've met within the past five, 10 years.

[00:38:06] Kate: So there you go.

[00:38:08] Nicole: Beautifully balanced.

[00:38:12] Nicole: That's great.

[00:38:15] Kate: Well, Nicole, as we close out, today's chat on relationships. We both hope that you friends have picked up a thing or two that you can carry with you today. And moving forward to give you that extra boost of confidence and support when you need it the most.

[00:38:33] Nicole: And friends in case you didn't know, we'll do a little bit of housekeeping.

[00:38:36] Nicole: I don't know if everybody knows we've got a website and we've got a way to get in touch with us via email.

[00:38:43] Nicole: So if you do go to canrelatepodcast.com, you'll see a place where you can enter your email address and stay connected with us. You know, reach out to us. You'll get updates when we post a new episode or anything fun that's going on in our life.

[00:39:01] Nicole: No spam, we promise. And we'd love to hear from you. So reach out to us, go to canrelatepodcast.com and subscribe.

[00:39:10] Kate: All right, friends. Untill next time.